I am not looking for new opportunities.


An up-to-date PDF version of my résumé is available here.

Leave a Message at the Beep

I’ve been inundated with spam calls for years (the best being the message that my car’s warranty was about to expire… a day after I drove it off the lot!) and rarely answer a call from an unknown caller. Please leave me a message if I don’t answer.

(Just sending an email is even better!)

Remote Work

I’m not interested in returning to an office environment. Commuting is a drag — it is a waste of resources (gas, oil, brakes, etc.), creates pollution and is a waste of time. I have successfully worked remotely for years without any impact on my performance and productivity, I wish to keep doing so in the future.

Please Respect My Time

I’m not going to contact you about an open position that I’m not qualified for… because I respect your time. Please respect mine and don’t contact me about a role that is a “perfect fit” that I’m not qualified for. It’s a waste of your time and mine. Specifically:

  • Database Administration Positions
    I was a junior DBA for 11 months… many years ago. I’m not qualified for any DBA position and I’m not interested in being a DBA.

  • Help Desk Positions
    I’m not interested in working for a help desk.

  • Clearance Jobs
    I transitioned out of the Army in 2011. I no longer have an active security clearance.